All you can't leave behind
by AmyNY
Summary: After graduating Rory gets a job at the one place she never thought she'd go back to – Philadelphia. Lit.


**Title**: All you can't leave behind

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything.

**Summary**: After graduating Rory gets a job at the one place she never thought she'd go back to – Philadelphia.

**Pairing**: Rory/Jess (Literati)

**Timeline**: Post season 7.

**A/N**: I haven't written for these two in so long and then this idea popped into my head and demanded to be written. For the sake of the story let's pretend Rory never got the offer to go on the Obama campaign trail. Also this is a bit long so it was a nightmare to edit but I hope it's decent enough.

-Lit-

**Part I**

The thing was Rory had a plan.

The one she put together when she was ten on a bed in Lane's room, two girls dreaming up a future. Lane talked about traveling, backpacking through Europe, exploring the world – catching up to everything she's missed. Her dreams weren't so extravagant. They were pretty simple, like she was. Go to a good high school, graduate with good grades. Get into Harvard, graduate and get a job as a reporter. So far it all went according to plan. She's graduated collage (Yale, not Harvard but close enough) as the top of her class, editor of school paper. So surely after all that everyone, herself included, expected her to get a job at one of the major newspapers (Times, Hartford Gazette), only the sky was the limit for the town princess.

There was only one small problem, none of them were hiring at the moment or they looked for someone with experience or someone who didn't have a record. She may not have ended up in jail for the boat stealing incident but she sure was doing time now. Months have passed and so far her only job offer came from Taylor and that was as embarrassing as it was shocking.

She spent most of her afternoons at Luke's quietly moping about her wasted youth or whatnot and it was on one of those afternoons as she was drowning her sorrows in gallons of black coffee that Luke came to her with a suggestion. He could call his nephew, who must have been the only remaining person who hasn't received a copy of Rory's CV yet (for obvious reasons) and ask him if he had something for her.

He would of course say he doesn't, she was sure of it, if for no other reason than because of the way they ended things last time they saw each other (disaster was a mild word for it) and so she didn't see any harm in agreeing with Luke. Five minutes later Luke came back from the kitchen with a wide smile on his face and Rory could feel herself sinking, melting into the chair as he said that it was all arranged. It was all sealed with an awkward hug courtesy of Luke, who was clearly happy that he could do something for a girl that was like a daughter to him all these years. Seeing how happy he was she couldn't find it in herself to ruin the moment.

"Refill?" he asked, holding up a coffee pot and she just nodded.

"Sure."

"I'll get you some pancakes with that, we should celebrate this." he said and disappeared behind the curtain as she tried to process everything.

So two hours later here she was, packing for a little trip to Philadelphia, unsure if she'll even make it past front door, but desperate enough to try. Lorelai clearly shared her enthusiasm (or lack thereof).

"You can stack up the books at Dragonfly Inn. Does that count as working in publishing?"

"Mom!"

"What? I'm only trying to help here."

"If you're really so eager to help go find my red sweater."

"The one you got as a present from my dearest mother last Christmas?"

"Yes."

"Oh I think I burned it or gave it to the needy. They really appreciated getting a nice, cashmere sweater made by the blind monks from India."

Her attempt at humor was clearly _not_ appreciated, "Go look for it."

"Please don't make me do that. You know I'm bad at finding things. Losing it however-" Lorelai paused "Remember that pink Hallo Kitty shirt you had that I told you was lost to the laundry fairy?" Maybe the poor sweater has met the same faith."

"Or maybe you borrowed it and lost it."

"I did no such a thing. I would NEVER wear anything Emily gave you or me, or anyone else for that matter. I care too much about the monks to exploit them in such way."

Rory sighed "Okay I think I'm done. I should go."

"Go? But you haven't found your sweater."

"It's lost to the laundry fairy, I've made peace with it."

"But what about-" Lorelai started but was interrupted by Rory who took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.

"Mom I'd really like to make it to Philly before nighttime."

"Yes because you can't afford to come by any vampires… or Jess."

"That's not funny."

"I still think this isn't going to end well b-"

"Mom I'm old enough to solve my own problems." Which is sort of true. Or at least it should be.

"But you haven't even talked to him and now you'll just show up there out of the blue-"

"Luke talked to him and he said it was fine." And she is too much of a coward to actually pick up the phone and talk to him. Secretly she thinks he'll have much harder time refusing her in person, when she's actually standing there. She was always his weak spot. But she doesn't say any of that to Lorelai "Plus this way I have miles and miles of road to cool off if he says no or drive off from some cliff if it really goes that bad."

Lorelai was not amused.

"I'm kidding. But I have to go. I'll call you when I get there."

-Lit-

She shows up at his door right after eight, and as she stands at the doorway of Truncheon books she wonders not for the first time if she made the right decision. They haven't spoken in more than a year and now she shows up at his doorstep out of the blue. Lorelai was right - this was a setup for disaster.

She's just about to turn around and go for the car instead of the doorbell when he opens the door, not giving her a chance to change her mind and to her surprise doesn't slam them in her face, probably as a courtesy to Luke.

Seeing him she remembers just how guilty she feels for coming here, for opening the old wounds, reminding him of what he wants to forget but he looks fine with it or at least he pretends he is and she is in no position to turn around and leave. But she can't do nothing either so she tells him,

"If it's too much, if you can't do this just say a word and I'll go."

She can see him hesitate, his hand unsteady on the door.

He's tried this already a year ago, letting her go and moving on (he even went on a few dates) but all he's been thinking about since was the conversation they had that day, not the last part but all that came before – talking about books and everyday stuff and how much he's missed that, missed having her in his life, even as a friend.

"You sure are early." he says, answering her question indirectly.

"When it comes to work I think that's a good thing. Shows commitment or something." she says with a weak smile.

"Not at our place it isn't, as I'm sure you'll see soon enough." he says, only half joking.

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Oh it's worse. Trust me." he says and gestures for her to go inside, offering her to sit which she accepts, hesitantly.

It's pretty awkward, so awkward in fact that she sits down twice unsure if she's sitting on the right couch, thinking of going back to Stars Hollow and admitting defeat. He keeps looking at her, waiting for an explanation that never comes because she doesn't know where to start.

'Sorry I haven't called you in a year and then suddenly barged in because I need a job' seems a bit blunt, and maybe even rude so after the hallo and the usual pleasantries exchanged she feels a little lost. He offers to make coffee clearly unable to stand there any longer and stare at the wall and she picks up a random book from the table she's sitting by and starts reading as a form of distraction. When he returns with two hot steaming cups of coffee he laughs at the sight (Rory with a book, now that's a surprise!) and she smiles, makes a comment about the author and somehow they settle into the familiar territory, conversation easing in.

The strong smell of coffee is heaven after six hours of driving and she relaxes at the first sip, "I see your coffee making skills haven't suffered from being away from the best coffee serving place in the country."

He laughs, third time that evening. It's strange, she's sure she hasn't seen Jess laugh this much in a month back then but she thinks she prefers this.

Eventually she tells him about the school and the job and he looks at her over his coffee, raises an eyebrow, clearly surprised. Strangely enough Stars Hollow and Jess had one thing in common after all – they both expected her to get a good job after collage and not end up at some second grade bookshop in Philadelphia. Not that she thinks Truncheon is bad. Just the opposite. It's cozy and small and in a lot of ways reminds her of home and the small bookshop she frequented in Stars Hollow.

Which is exactly what she tells him after taking another sip of java.

He looks at her questioningly "Are you actually comparing Truncheon with Stars Hollow Books, because that place was the only thing that kept me sane back in a day."

"Yeah, an astonishing number of hours were spent with a pretty outdated book collection in the back but then again you couldn't expect anything else from Stars Hollow."

He gives her a knowing smile because most of that time he was there to keep her company. Or to tease her about her literary choices.

"They weren't outdated. They were classics or the American literature and Russian and Fra…"

"They were _ancient_. I'm sure they had the original copy of the Iliad stashed in there somewhere." she jokes.

"And that's a bad thing because…"

"I see your point." she says, lips tugging into a smile.

"Good. I thought I lost you there for a moment." he jokes.

She takes a sip of her coffee, looks at him and says softly "No, no you haven't."

They stay up talking for a long time, reminiscing and catching up and even after four cups of coffee she falls asleep in an unknown bed as easily as she hasn't in a long time, maybe not since she slept in the comfort of her own childhood bedroom.

-Lit-

She starts small – mostly helps out the boys, helps them arrange the books or organize exhibits but all in all it's kind of perfect and she even ends up with most afternoons off, free to explore the city. But even a week later her adventurous spirit doesn't take her further than the local coffee shop that is located on the same block as the store. The fact that she is a small town girl is slowly becoming glaringly obvious and she is pretty certain it is a good thing she didn't become foreign correspondent - chances were she wouldn't do much better in Egypt or Afghanistan if she couldn't even find her way around Philly.

It all looks a bit hopeless until Jess takes pity on her and offers to show her around town on the weekend when they aren't as busy.

They wake up to a sunny Saturday morning and after a quick stop for coffee and a pretzel start their tour. At her demand they visit all the town landmarks (Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, Fairmount Park, even Poe's home) and act like real tourists, complete with souvenir shopping – they even walk up the steps to the Philadelphia Museum of Art as he tries to convince her Rocky was a great movie but she enjoys teasing him about liking a Stallone movie so much she refuses to cave. She can tell he's enjoying this though – showing her around (his!) town.

He knows it pretty well – he shows her all the best antique bookshops, favorite restaurants and those little hidden interesting places that only the locals would know about.

"You know I'm really warming up to this town." she admits as they sit at the top step completely exhausted taking in the Center City skyline, surprised by her own words but it's the truth. Even though it's a bigger city it still has the warmth of a small town, unlike New York, that overwhelms you with the noise and the crowd and as much as she loved it there here she feels more at ease, and it's clear he does too. She likes it – this Jess who has a home, who says hi to his neighbors, who doesn't run anymore.

"So think you can make it all the way down?"

"Can't be worse than climbing all the way up here." she says as he helps her up.

-Lit-

That's another thing she discovers about Jess here – he loves his job, which is something she never thought she'd say about the boy she knew back in Stars Hollow. He pretty much runs the whole place on his own, finds new authors, does inventory, lectors' books and arranges promotional evenings at Truncheon.

It's weird to see him actually finish his work – a book before her. He works for hours, writes notes, says things like thank you to people that come by but also manages to slip in a sarcastic comment, because he's still Jess and she smiles across the room before going back to her own work.

A lot of the evenings are spent behind a desk, or on the couch with a book and a pen in hand – she's already adopted the comfy chair where she can curl up with a blanket and read for hours and he often makes her company by spreading on the couch with a book of his own.

On one such evening they're both sitting on the couch since Matt has fallen asleep on the chair, watching a movie and working on a book during commercials, both too tired from a long and exhausting day when he picks up the book and writes something in the margins before handing it to her, clearly not wanting to disturb the sleeping roommate.

She tries to lean in closer and sneak a peek at what he's writing but all she manages to see is 'Matt is…' before he sees her and moves away. Finally after he's finished he hands the book over to her and she looks at him unsure what he wants her to do as he gestures for her to read it.

She giggles quietly at his comments and writes something in a small space next to his own handwriting, hands him the book back. From then on it becomes their way of communicating, something they end up doing every time they're lying around the common room when they can't talk for whatever reason (if there are people in the kitchen or if the boys are watching something on TV) and Matt and Nick roll their eyes every time they see them laughing at the random book because they know what's going on but she doesn't mind.

It reminds her of all those times when she'd borrow him a book and he'd return it with all those notes in the margins, random comments about the book, or life in general, even recaps of Luke's silly incidents at the diner that never failed to make her smile, kind of like they do now.

She falls asleep on his shoulder more than once but doesn't think twice about it in the morning, it feels natural and not weird at all. Oddly enough, she never falls asleep next to Matt or Nick but that's probably because they never work so late in the evenings or because they have girlfriends who would probably be a little upset if they found their boyfriend in the embrace of an attractive brunette.

-Lit-

Rory usually wakes up second, after Jess who gets up at down, as far as she could tell and makes coffee downstairs. Usually by then she wakes up and follows the alluring smell of freshly brewed java. Her cup is sitting at the counter, with two sugars and no milk and she sits down, wraps her hands around the warm cup. Then she and Jess chat until the boys come down in search of their morning dose of caffeine but this morning Jess is nowhere to be seen so she assumes he went upstairs to wake the rest of the guys because Monday is their busiest day and no sleeping in is allowed even if you did stay at the local bar until 3 am the previous night.

Someone rings the doorbell and she grunts, and curses under her breath (who was dumb enough to come by already when it clearly says they work from 8, not 6.30!) as she drags her tired feet towards the door and opens them looking rather scary, she assumes, what with the messy hair, puffy eyes and her cow PJ's. A girl with blonde hair is standing in front of her, alarmingly upbeat for this time of morning which makes Rory feel even less awake.

"Hi." The girl says and continues to stare at Rory.

"Hi." Rory says in a low voice and thinks she really is not a morning person. At all.

"Is Jess here?" she asks and for some reason Rory frowns. To be quite honest, she didn't think Jess had a girlfriend, at least she doesn't remember him mentioning one. And even if he did, she never imagined him with a girl like this.

"Um, yes he is. I think he just went -" she turns to look for him just in time to see Jess come down the stairs and hurry towards the blond girl, pulling her into a tight hug. The only thing weirder then Jess dating a bubbly blonde is Jess hugging her, or anyone in general.

"Hey weren't you coming with 11am bus?" he says.

"I was but I found an earlier bus so here I am."

"I didn't even think you had it in you to be awake before twelve." Jess says and Rory smiles at that. She can relate.

"Anything for you." the girl says and Rory clears her throat a little too loudly.

"Oh, Rory-" he says, finally noticing her "-this is my baby sister Lilly." Jess introduces his friend, making Rory feel like a complete idiot. Lack of caffeine in her system clearly makes her think about stupid things.

"Hey I'm not a baby anymore." Lilly says punching him playfully on the shoulder.

"Fine then, my brat sister Lilly." he says with a forced smile as Lilly rolls her eyes.

"It's nice to meet you." Rory says extending an arm.

"Lil this is..."

"No, let me guess. You're the infamous Rory Gilmore." Lilly says looking at her mysteriously. Jess actually squirms before giving her the look.

"Yes… I guess I am." Rory agrees suddenly feeling as if she was standing here naked, barely resisting the urge to double check, just in case. How did this girl know who she was?

Jess finally stops glaring at his baby sister and turns to Rory apologetically "As I'm sure you'll see soon enough besides taking long walks on the beach and watching horror movies, Lilly also loves to pry into other people's lives-"

"I do not. Besides it's not my fault that you-"

"I was not-"

"Coffee anyone?" Rory asked interrupting the sibling squabble.

"Oh I'm dying for one. After five hours on that bus I could really use some caffeine. And a shower, but that can wait." Lilly says and Jess lets out a frustrated sigh.

Rory thinks she could get used to the little sister after all.

-Lit-

For the next couple of months things only get better - they work, they all go out on weekends together for a beer or two, they walk around town on the afternoons in search of the new bookstores or coffee shops and Rory catches herself contemplating how great it would be to move here for good, maybe get her own place so Lorelai can come for a visit and even stay over.

Sometimes she thinks things are going a little too well, she feels good, comfortable with herself, relaxed and at ease as she hasn't felt in a long time and usually that's not a good thing. Because then she lets her heart lead her instead of her head and things get complicated, as proven by her behavior at Sookie's wedding or that particular morning.

That morning she put up a pot for some tea and went in the backyard to turn on the sprinklers. Jess was sitting on one of the nets they've set up by the tree, reading a book. She smiled at the sight, thinking she could join him when she finishes her tea, it was a warm summer day and it would be a waste to spend it indoors.

But for some reason the sprinklers refused to work, probably because she sucks at this (Matt usually does it but he went to do some grocery shopping) and Jess finally stood up, dropped the book and came to her assistance turning it on quickly. A little to quickly because the sprinklers come on and Jess pulled her towards him to avoid getting soaked and they both laughed like crazy, unable to catch their breath.

She only managed to calm down when she realized that she was standing right in front of him, his hand on her elbow, her other hand on his chest and somehow they both stopped laughing right at the same time, faces inches apart and she just knew what this is, the calm before the storm.

He looked at her, eyes dark as if he was waiting for her approval. She leaned forward a little and it was the only confirmation he needed before he pulled her closer if it was even possible, and she smiled against his lips – she's forgotten how easily she fit with him, how good his lips felt brushing against hers, how soft his hair was between her fingers. He didn't seem to have forgotten much though – his hands knew exactly how to hold her, where to touch, his lips moving against hers until she has no other option but to let him in and they're both more breathless then they were five minutes ago but she really doesn't care.

There is a sound of rustling leaves and grass, feet approaching and she pulls away, both of them turning to find Matt standing by the back door "Guys some water is boiling in the kitchen-"

"I have to go." she says and walks away, leaving him standing there.

-Lit-

The next day Lorelai comes by and she and Rory spend the day outside, sightseeing, except for the five very awkward minutes that she spends waiting for Rory to get ready and stands with Jess downstairs. It's weird because Lorelai keeps staring at him, not quite believing it's the same guy from five or so years ago.

"So Jess the place looks great. Luke told me you're doing…great, with your work." she says awkwardly and he feels like an ex drug/alcohol addict being petted on the head for doing so well and staying sober.

"Yeah, look I'm sorry." he says.

"For what?" she asks, confused.

"How I was, back then. I feel I should apologize, a part of the whole 12 step program." he only half jokes and she nods.

"Apology accepted."

Rory comes down finally and looks at the two of them suspiciously, probably making sure they both still have all their body parts in place and that no sharp objects were drawn. The truth is Jess can't blame her if she is.

**Part II **

It's been a week since Lorelai went back to Stars Hollow, a week since the incident and she's found a few good apartments that are near Truncheon and not too expensive, but she still can't quite find it in herself to pack those bags and go.

The thing is she also can't go on like this, avoiding him, leaving the room every time he comes in. Soon enough their work will start to suffer and that won't be fair to the guys or either of them.

Already it has pretty much become an unwritten rule that someone has to be with them at all times, Matt or Nate or a client. Otherwise they'd fall into an awkward silence or a conversation filled with uncomfortable pauses. The closest to a normal conversation they got was during breakfast when she asked him to pass the salt and he did. She got almost giddy with excitement when he asked her at dinner to pass the tuna casserole, because their fingers touched. Obviously this could not go on any longer.

Which is why she promised herself that today she would actually go and see that one apartment she particularly liked and maybe even put down a deposit as soon as she ends this conversation with her mom, who is currently busy transcribing her the entire conversation that took place last night at the town's meeting between Kirk and Taylor while Rory is trying really hard to pay attention.

"Rory are you even listening to me?"

"Of course I am mom."

"You sound distracted."

"Oh that's because I'm writing down everything you say so if Taylor decides to quiz me on the events that took place in Stars Hollow while I was away I would be fully prepared."

"You know I could actually see you doing that. And I already imagined Taylor putting together his little questionnaire which is a scary image. Oh God what if he decides to make it a tradition and involve the whole town, you know quiz us all at the town meeting, maybe even this weekend when Luke is holding it!"

"Luke is holding a town meeting?"

"I distinctly remember telling you all about that yesterday. You really are distracted. Honey what's going on with you and Jess?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you barely spoke two words with each other when I visited and as monosyllabic as Jess is I would like to believe he has improved with years."

"You caught us on a bad day, that's all."

"Rory-"

"No, mom it's just that I- I don't know. Somehow with us things always progress that way. Maybe we just can't be friends." she said with a sigh "And I don't get why because I'm friends with Dean and we're fine."

"Maybe you are." Lorelai agreed softly "But honey did you ever stop and think for a second why is that so?"

Honestly, no she hasn't because the answer to that question scared her and Lorelai knew that all too well. She was afraid of asking herself the same question for years with Luke.

"I don't want to get involved in this but just know whatever you decide I'll be there to support you."

Rory took a deep breath and smiled "I know mom."

Now if only she could also make the decision for her… She really missed the days when that was the case. Grown up life was so overrated.

-Lit-

That night, just as she is about to go to bed and finally relax, settle in with a good book after another day of avoiding Jess and pretending everything is alright she finds a name with an address written on a small yellow post-it on her nightstand. There is nothing else there, no note with an explanation or a signature but she would've recognized that handwriting anywhere.

Quickly she grabs the post-it and walks to his door knocking a little too loudly. He opens them rather quickly considering it's almost two in the morning with a confused look on his face. It's only then that it hits her that they actually aren't on speaking terms, hence the look on his face.

His hair is messed up from sleeping and lack of hair products, the grey trainers hanging low on his hips, plain white shirt completing the look and she feels a little awkward, like she's prying on him, barging in but she's too upset right now to think clearly and her need for answers is far stronger than any discomfort she may feel so she stays.

"Rory?" he says, voice a little raspy, trying hard to process why the girl with the big blue eyes hidden away behind the black framed glasses is standing at his doorway at this hour in her cow PJ's.

"What is this?" she says holding up the mysterious post-it.

"A phone number of the main editor at the Boston Globe. He's expecting your call." he retorts.

"What?" she asks, more than a little confused by his answer.

"I ran into a friend who works there that owes me one and he said he could set up a meeting."

His face is completely blank and it's absolutely impossible to read him but she knows what he's doing, what this is. It's him giving her a way out, an excuse to leave.

"But- I'm not prepared." she groans.

"Says the editor of Yale Daily News and one of the top students in her class." he says with a laugh. "Rory you've been preparing for this since you were five."

She wants to laugh at that because it's sort of true and she wants to be happy about this because it _is_ something she always wanted but for some reason she can't.

But in the end she sits on that damn bus, CV in hand, goes to Boston and two hours later gets an actual job offer from one of the best newspapers in the country. Yes, she's flattered. Yes, she always dreamed of this (after New York Times of course). Still, she smiles politely at the editor, thanks him and says she needs to think about it.

Having a few hours to kill before her bus leaves she takes a walk through the city and even drops by Harvard – it's still as owe inspiring and incredible as it was when she and Lorelai visited years ago and she expect to feel a little sad about missing out on it but she's not. Harvard was a great school and she's sure she would've loved it there but ultimately she has no regrets about not going there.

Yale may not have been what she dreamed of when she first imagined herself at collage but in the end it turned out to be all she ever wanted. She fallowed her heart then and now she knew she had to do the same.

She looks at the card in her hand and smiles.

-Lit-

Back at Truncheon she finds him in the kitchen, with a book in hand and a half eaten breakfast on the counter. He looks up and the smile that she's trying to unsuccessfully hide is enough to tell him everything he needs to know. Without a word he focuses his attention on the words on the page or tries to as she stands there in a business suit, laptop still in hand.

"I got the job Jess, Mr. Baron offered me a full time job, dental and all. I even get my own cubicle."

"That's great." he says, still not separating from the book.

"I'll turn it down." she says quickly and he forgets what row he was on and decides to give up on it altogether. He stopped reading as soon as she walked through the door anyway.

"But why? I thought that's what you always wanted. This-" he says gesturing around the Truncheon "-was just a small stop on the way to-"

"No, how can you even- you know I don't care about those things." she says shaking her head "I'm not gonna lie, New York Times was my dream and this, Boston was the second best thing but right now there's something I want more." she stops and lets out a breath, avoiding his eyes, her cheeks feeling warm.

"What's that?" he asks, challenging her.

"I think you know." she says quietly.

"I have a vague idea but then again I've been known to be wrong about these things." he says and she flashes to that evening at Truncheon a few years ago and the kiss, his wounded eyes and a fake smile – for her sake, an assurance - I'll be alright, even if she knew he won't. She's overheard Matt talking with him about the infamous night he spent at a bar hugging a bottle of Jack like it's his last connection to the world of the living and rambling about the damn blue eyes and dark curls in a way that would shame even Bukowski.

He looks serious, weary and she can't bare that look in his eyes anymore so she finally tells him "Maybe I' was the one who was wrong this time, underestimating my feelings for you." It wouldn't be the first time.

By the look on his face she can tell that whatever he thought she would say he surely hasn't expected this. (Has that night really left such a big trace on him?)

"I don't know what it is. I don't know if what I feel was always there although I'm sure it was, partially at least or if it's a result of all this time we've been spending together lately… It's just that I'm a mess or my head is and I dunno what to do." she admits with a sigh, not caring that she's rambling and that her eyes are blurry and she probably looks terrible.

"I know." he says and she hates him a little for being so understanding and calm and so unlike the old Jess, the one who would run away by now and leave her alone because now that would be easier, even if just for tonight. But this, both of them staying, facing each other without pulling away is hard and it scares her.

"But I don't want to let it go, pretend it was nothing. Before- we never actually got the chance. When you left everything just- stopped. I feel like we never got closure and I just jumped from that to Dean and then to Logan because it hurt to think about it and I felt I had no other choice. But it was for all the wrong reasons. This time I want to see it through." she says honestly sitting down on a closest chair. "However it goes, I want to be there."

"Back when I chose Yale over Harvard I knew it was a right thing to do. First of all because Yale was a great school but also because I got to be closer to mom and you." she says and can almost see it, two foolish kids who were young enough to believe that the only thing that would separate them for those four years would be those 22,8 miles.

_You looked it up._

"I don't want you to sacrifice this because of me." he says honestly. She deserves the best and he can't stand in the way of her dreams, he never could.

"I'm not. What I'm trying to tell you is that I love this job and Philadelphia and I much prefer this to some generic cubicle in the sea of others. Even if it's a cubicle at Boston Globe."

He laughs at that, wants to believe her.

It will take some getting used to. Good things like this didn't happen to guys like him often.

"So you're staying?" he asks, even if it takes him an unbelievable amount of courage for such a simple question.

"If you'll have me." she says and reaches for his hands, their fingers intervening easily, and looks at him sweetly with those eyes. Yes, it would definitely take some getting used to.

"Like I have any choice. The boys would kill me if I let you leave."

"Of course. And we couldn't have that." she jokes but he doesn't smile.

His eyes look impossibly dark and she doesn't think she's ever seen him look so serious "You know, I've never done this before." he says and she understands even if he doesn't elaborate "Except with you then so I'm a little out of practice."

It means a lot, to hear it, especially since this is Jess, a guy who took a year to tell her he loved her. Coming from someone else it wouldn't mean as much but with him it did. Everything since the day she came to Philadelphia has served to prove how much he's changed, for the better and this was the final proof.

"Well I have and trust me it's not any less scary. But it has its advantages." she says, eyes sparkling and his lips finally pull into a smirk "Okay, now I really have to go change."

She moves away and freeing her one hand but the other one stays locked with his as he pulls her back gently. "You forgot something." he says and hands her the laptop.

She smiles and says "Thank you", kisses him quickly on the lips before hurrying up the stairs. He's left standing there alone with an equally goofy grin.

The same grin he sported on that late night in Stars Hollow all those years ago._ Goodnight Dodger._

(the end)

**AN:** Well if you've made it all the way up to here feel free to leave me a review about how much it actually sucked and what a huge waste of your time that was. Just kidding. Or so I hope. But even if you did think it was bad please feel free to leave me a note, constructive criticism is always welcome.


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